Whether you're shopping for yourself or with a partner, choosing your first toy should feel exciting — not overwhelming. This guide cuts straight to what you need to know, with simple honest advice to help you find something that feels right for you.
Before You Start Shopping
- Start simple. A straightforward toy you feel confident using always beats something complex and intimidating.
- Material matters. Stick to body-safe materials — medical-grade silicone, ABS plastic, borosilicate glass, or stainless steel. See our What Are Body-Safe Sex Toy Materials? (And Why They Matter) guide for more.
- Comfort over size. Ease of use and comfort always come before size or complexity.
- Set a realistic budget. Quality materials mean a safer, better experience — a modest investment goes a long way.
Vibrators
The most popular starting point for beginners — versatile, easy to use, and great for discovering what you enjoy.
Bullet Vibrators
Small, discreet, and brilliantly simple. Bullets are designed for external stimulation of erogenous zones like the clitoris, nipples, and perineum. They fit in the palm of your hand making them easy to control and position. A brilliant first purchase.
Look for: Simple controls, multiple settings, rechargeable battery, silicone or ABS plastic.
Wand Vibrators
Powerful and forgiving, wands deliver broad deep vibrations through a large flexible head. No need to be precise about placement — making them wonderfully beginner-friendly. A firm favorite for a reason.
Look for: Variable speeds, flexible head, rechargeable, quiet motor.
Air Pulse Toys
Instead of vibration, these use gentle air pressure to mimic oral stimulation. The results are remarkable and they've quickly become one of the most popular categories on the market. Absolutely worth considering as a first toy.
Look for: Multiple intensity levels, soft silicone tip, rechargeable, waterproof.
Dildos
Non-vibrating and designed for insertion, dildos come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. For beginners, simple is always best.
Classic Smooth Dildos
The most comfortable and intuitive starting point. No ridges or texture means you can focus entirely on getting comfortable with penetration at your own pace.
Look for: Seamless surface, body-safe silicone or glass, beginner-friendly size, flared base for anal use.
Realistic Dildos
Anatomy-inspired and designed to feel natural and familiar. Popular with those who prefer a more lifelike experience — always start smaller than you think you need to.
Look for: Body-safe silicone, good flexibility, a size you genuinely feel comfortable with.
Suction Cup Dildos
Attach to any flat surface for hands-free play and are harness-compatible for couples. A versatile option that grows with your exploration.
Look for: Strong suction cup, body-safe materials, comfortable size.
Anal Toys
With the right toy, anal play can be a really enjoyable part of your exploration. The one rule that is never optional: always choose a toy specifically designed for anal play with a flared base or retrieval cord.
Anal Plugs
The most popular starting point. Small, smooth, and tapered for comfortable insertion. Many people enjoy wearing them during other forms of play for added sensation.
Look for: Tapered tip, narrow neck, wide flared base, body-safe silicone or stainless steel.
Anal Beads
Graduating beads inserted slowly and removed gently — creating a unique sensation many people love, especially during orgasm.
Look for: Graduated sizing, sturdy retrieval loop, body-safe silicone or ABS plastic.
Toys for Couples
Bringing a toy into partnered play can be genuinely exciting. Just make sure to talk openly about what you're both curious about before you shop — communication makes everything better.
Couples Vibrators
Worn during sex to stimulate both partners simultaneously. One end inside, one providing external stimulation. App-controlled versions let both partners take turns in control for added fun.
Look for: Flexible design, multiple settings, body-safe silicone, easy controls.
Finger Vibrators
Lightweight and simple, these slip over one or two fingers for precise external stimulation. A low-key and approachable way to introduce toys into couples play.
Look for: Comfortable fit, simple controls, quiet motor.
Double Ended Dildos
Designed to be shared, double ended dildos offer penetrative pleasure for both partners simultaneously. They come in two main styles — flexible shaft designs that curve between partners during sex, and strapless strap-on styles where one end is held internally by one partner while the other end is used for penetration. A great option for couples looking for something truly mutual.
Look for: Body-safe silicone, good flexibility, a length and diameter that works comfortably for both partners, and a smooth seamless surface for beginners.
Strap-Ons & Harnesses
A strap-on harness paired with a dildo opens up a whole new world of partnered play and is popular across all relationship types and gender identities. There are two main styles worth knowing about:
Underwear Harnesses — Designed to look and feel like regular underwear, these come in sizes for a more comfortable, natural feel. A popular choice for beginners who want something easy to put on and less intimidating than a traditional strap-on. The soft fabric construction creates a closer, more intimate connection between partners that traditional strap-ons can't quite match. Best of all, unlike traditional strap-ons, most underwear styles are fully machine washable making them incredibly easy to keep clean and fresh.Â
Traditional Strap-Ons — Adjustable straps with buckles that fasten around the hips and thighs. Most are highly adjustable and compatible with a wide range of dildos making them a versatile choice. Great for a secure, customizable fit.
Both harness styles work with any harness-compatible dildo with a flared base — so once you have a harness you love, switching up dildos is easy.
Look for: A style and fit that feels comfortable for your body, a compatible O-ring size for your chosen dildo width, and body-safe materials throughout.Â
Remote & App-Controlled Toys
Perfect for couples who enjoy an element of surprise and playfulness, remote and app-controlled toys let one partner control the other's pleasure — from across the room or across the world. A genuinely fun way to keep things exciting whether you're together or apart.
Look for: Reliable connectivity, intuitive controls, body-safe silicone, and a rechargeable battery. Check reviews for connection range and app ease of use before buying.
Two Things That Always Make a Difference
Lubricant — Water-based lube works with every toy material and makes every experience more comfortable. Use it generously — always.
Cleaning — Clean your toys before and after every use. Quick, simple, and essential. Our How to Clean and Store Sex Toys Safely guide has everything you need.
Final Thoughts
There's no perfect first toy — just the one that's right for you. Start simple, take your time, and remember that discovering what you enjoy is all part of the experience. Your journey is completely your own. Happy exploring! 🧡
Up Next
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What Are Body-Safe Sex Toy Materials? (And Why They Matter) — The one thing worth knowing before you buy anything
- How to Clean and Store Sex Toys Safely — Two minutes of care that makes every experience better
- Beginner's Guide to Sex Toys: Everything You Need to Know — The complete starting point for your pleasure journey
- How to Choose the Right Sex Toy for Your Body — Because the best toy is always the one that's right for you
