The questions people actually send us before their first harness, roughly in the order they come up.
What size do I order?
Take a pair of comfy fitting jeans, lay them flat, measure the waistband. Match that number against the size chart on the specific style you're buying.
Not your usual underwear size. Harness fabric is a much heavier weight and doesn't give or stretch nearly as much, so it won't forgive a size that's off. Full walkthrough here.
Which style should I start with?
A Brief+. Easiest to size, works for play and casual packing.
That said, boxers, panties, and jocks all use the same core construction, so pick the shape you'd actually want to be seen in. Style comparison here.
What do the "+" and "Duo" in your product names mean?
+ means double layer, the two-pairs-of-underwear-in-one construction that does the supporting.
Duo means two O-rings.
So a Brief+ is double layered with one ring. A Duo Brief+ is double layered with two.
What O-ring size do I need?
Measure the widest part of your toy, then pick a ring slightly larger. Never the same size, never smaller.
We make 1.5", 1.65", 1.75", and 2.0". The O-ring guide covers the whole thing.
What if my toy doesn't fit the ring?
Narrower than the ring: add a Stabilizer Insert. There are two versions, one cut for Brief+, Panty, and Biker, another for Boxer and High Rise. Match it to your harness.
Wider than the ring: size up. Don't force it, or you'll damage the toy and the fabric around the ring together.
Can one harness do both packing and play?
Yes, if your toy fits a 1.65" ring or smaller. Duo styles have two rings: run the shaft through the lower one and your toy sits packed between your legs, then move it up to the top ring for play. Same garment, no changing.
Do I have to buy the toy and harness together?
No, but package deals come pre-matched, so the ring and the toy diameter are already confirmed to work. Handy for a first order.
Already own a toy? Measure it and check it against the O-ring guide before picking a harness.
What size toy should I start with?
Smaller. Change one variable at a time. A new toy size and a new harness at once means you won't know which to adjust if something feels off.
How snug should it fit?
Snug enough to hold the toy steady. Not tight enough to hurt.
Too loose and you lose control during use. Genuinely too tight, as opposed to just snug, restricts movement and gets uncomfortable fast.
Will anyone be able to tell?
Most styles look like ordinary underwear under clothes. Button fly boxers hide the O-ring completely behind the front panel, which is why they're the pick when discretion is the whole point.
Can anyone wear one?
Yes. Harnesses are unisex, full stop.
People use them for penetrative play with a partner. People use the built-in O-ring as a cock ring. People pair them with a sheath, an extender, a prosthetic, or an STP. Style comes down to fit, coverage, and what you're doing with it.
How is this different from a regular strap-on?
A traditional strap-on is a belt. To hold a dildo steady it has to be cinched tight, and tight straps dig in.
An underwear harness builds the ring into the garment, so support spreads across a whole waistband instead of one thin strap. That's why you can wear one for hours instead of minutes.
What's the difference between a harness and packer underwear?
Different fabric for different jobs. Harnesses are heavier and layered, which is what holds a toy steady. Packer underwear is lighter and stretchier, made to be comfortable across a whole day with a prosthetic or STP. Full breakdown.
How do I wash it?
Cold, delicate cycle, tumble dry low, separate from the rest of your laundry. The reinforced stitching around the O-ring is the part you're protecting.
Is it normal to have no idea what you're doing?
Completely. Most people have never shopped this category before, and the product pages are full of numbers that don't mean anything until someone explains them.
Ask us anything. Fit and sizing questions are most of what our support team does.
Back to the full buying guide.
J / RodeoH